


Loveliness Itself

by cazzy



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, also virgin!rey, and phasma is way done with kylo's shit, and rey is lovely and talented, kylo ren is a pretentious actor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 23:11:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5762587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cazzy/pseuds/cazzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which world-famous actor Kylo Ren refuses to see any potential in up-and-coming actress Rey until they finally act alongside one another, and then she's brilliant, so brilliant that his entire philosophy on the crippling emotion of love is altered. None of that seems to matter, though, because Rey absolutely despises him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loveliness Itself

**Author's Note:**

> Suppose, for the briefest of moments, that Austen's _Emma_ was not widely adapted onto the screen several different times, just for the purposes of this fic. Trying to conjure up a romantic screenplay that is not too ridiculous for Rey or Kylo to act in meant turning to some of Austen's fiction, and _Emma_ is not only my favorite piece of literature from her, but I think it also serves the purpose well. (I took a course on her literature in college, and while it was dreadful for the most part, she does have a few good novels!)
> 
> If you're not familiar with the novel, it shouldn't be too big of a deal! I tried to make the actual screenplay itself less important than the development of the characters.
> 
> Hopefully this is as enjoyable to read as it was to write! Comments and criticism are equally welcomed, I've been trying to work on my world-building skills as well as keeping characterizations accurate, so feel free to let me know what you think.

This movie audition is way out of her league, but Rey seems to be the only person who really realizes that. Standing among the prospective actresses, she can't help but feel like an odd duck out. Some of the women standing around her, eyes focused on the scripts in their hands, are absolutely _stunning,_ and she's fairly confident that she just watched _Han Solo_ walk by, though why he'd be here confuses her a fair bit. Nobody's given her a judging glance or a vocalized, “What is someone like _you_ doing here?” yet, so she relaxes a bit, but still. Totally. Out. Of. Place.

Rey knows she isn't A-List actress material. She's really not some overly-modest person, acting and absorbing roles _are_ a forte of hers, but it certainly isn't as though she's a famous celebrity. Her magnum opus to-date is serving as an extra with speaking lines in a reboot of one of her favorite nerdy sci-fi movie series, and finding herself in the middle of an audition for a _romance_ has her feeling incredibly uncomfortable.

But she's here, and Finn has done a fairly successful job of amping her up for the audition. Reading the screenplay had actually _moved_ Rey, and she typically isn't one for compelling emotions, so she's agreed to at least read for the lead female's role. _Even if you don't get it,_ she hears her agent saying over and over again in her head, _it will be great work experience!_

And maybe she shouldn't be so surprised by the well-written, interesting characters of Jane Austen's _Emma_ , but she finds herself really connecting with the main character, Emma Woodhouse. There are certainly fundamental differences – Emma is a beautiful, class-driven individual whose boredom has driven her to matchmaking for entertainment, regardless of results, and Rey isn't exactly the ideal portrait of sophisticated grace. Her background does not lend itself to the most obvious of Emma Woodhouse's characteristics, yet the female character's drive to control her own destiny, as well as her refusal to be shoehorned into a political marriage, are aspects that appeal to Rey.

And maybe Emma's stubbornness and insistence at being correct at all times are fairly similar to Rey's own personality, but she keeps that part private. (She has a sneaking suspicion that this is the reason Finn slipped her the script in the first place.)

The director of the film doesn't intimidate her, necessarily, but it would be a lie to say that Rey doesn't feel the tension brimming as she stands with all of the other prospective actresses. There's just something about the mere possibility of having to act in front of such a god-damn legend that's slightly terrifying, even if it's been something she's done for years.

While it's true that she's contracted with Skywalker Industries, it isn't as though the lower-tier actors and actresses can just waltz in and expect a meet-and-greet with the top executives. They're an incredibly successful, grand enterprise of musical and acting talent, and besides, Rey's only been with the company for a few years. She's fairly sure that the only time she's even _glimpsed_ Leia Organa in-person was during a well-timed moment where they both happened to be in the main building at the same time.

She has met Luke Skywalker, _Emma'_ s director, though, just a few times when she was an extra for one of his incredible _Rebel Alliance_ films. Rey doubts he'll recall her face, although she did list it on her résumé.

Finn's made jokes already – _Well, you work for one sibling, and now you're auditioning for the other one, you already have an in! -_ but the jest falls flat in Rey's mind. She does not want to gain prominent roles due to nepotism, she wants to work hard and _prove_ she can act with the best, and she wonders if it's for the best that Luke Skywalker will likely not remember her.

When it's her turn for the audition, she moves forward without hesitation. Every moment of an audition matters, from the instant one walks in, and Rey is confident in her abilities.

She introduces herself briefly, ensuring that her handshakes with Luke Skywalker as well as the few other people that are complete strangers to her are firm. They insist on letting her prepare for the scene in whatever way makes her comfortable, so she takes a calming, almost-meditative breath with her eyes closed. The passage she's chosen to recite is one involving Mr. Knightley, a good family friend to the Woodhouses, as he berates Emma for her fanciful notions of matchmaking her friends purely for entertainment. It is not so much about playing a role as _becoming_ the person, she thinks.

Rey – _no,_ Emma – opens her eyes, expression a bit petulant and teasing. "A _nd have you never known the pleasure and triumph of a lucky guess?”_ she asks. “ _I pity you, I thought you clever, for, depend upon it a lucky guess is never merely luck.”_ And with a slow-building smile, she tips her head slightly to the side. Self-assurance colors her voice as she continues, _“There is always some talent in it. And as to my poor word 'success,' which you quarrel with, I do not know that I am so entirely without any claim to it. You have drawn two pretty pictures; but I think there may be a third.”_

She pauses, taking a moment to consider her next words, before unleashing a savage smile on the man who always challenges her, always teases her and treats her as though she will always be a naive, playful child unaware of the workings of the real world. “ _A something between the do-nothing and the do-all. If I had not promoted Mr. Weston's visits here, and given many little encouragements, and smoothed many little matters, it might not have come to any thing after all. I think you must know Hartfield enough to comprehend that."_

Silence meets her as Rey slips out of the mind of Emma. She's had good auditions, and more than her fair share of poor ones, but the looks of the casting crew in front of her are unidentifiable and give no indication as to whether or not she's done well.

Rey shifts slightly, wondering if she should do something ridiculous like bow or say, “That's it, I'm done,” but she is saved by one of the casting members. The short, elderly woman who Rey remembers is named Maz gives her a gentle smile and says, “Thank you, child. We'll contact you soon with our decision.”

Rey smiles politely, still uneasy at the lack of responses from the others, and thanks them for their time as she leaves.

“I see great things in her eyes,” Maz says softly once the young brunette vacates the room. “She will be wonderful.”

Murmurs of assent fill the room amid the shuffling of _Rey's,_ no last name, resume.

“Must we continue auditions when it's clear she is the one we want?” one voice pipes up, and before anyone can respond, a loud voice calls out, “ _Luke!”_ as the entrance door to the audition room is slammed open.

Luke turns his head toward his name to see one of his oldest friends in the doorway, chest dramatically heaving from his out-of-breath state.

“You'll never guess who just contacted me,” Han Solo says.

 

-

 

Phasma has begged Kylo Ren to accept a role in a romance for years. He derives amusement from shooting her down, at least until she towers over him and threatens bodily harm for his insolence.

In truth, though, the notion of acting as some kind of white-knight lead actor in a cheesy romance makes him feel sick. Romances like the ones in novels and movies simply don't exist, and he is living proof of it. They serve no point other than to impress the idiotic minds of girls expecting to be carried away by perfect, handsome men, and Kylo wants no part in such unrealistic, idiotic fantasies. His career is one carved out of sheer willpower and skill, and his name is his own, and it will not be tainted by the disgusting monster that is the genre of romance.

The media may have raved over the marriage of Leia Organa and Han Solo, acting geniuses with several awards under each of their belts, but they were never truly privy to their personal lives like Ben Solo was. On-screen chemistry certainly did not equate to flawless true love, and the constant arguments of his parents behind-the-scenes served only to sour Ben's opinions regarding the ridiculous notion of love.

Ben Solo is gone, now, rotting along with the disastrous marriage of two too-young starlets.

The only love that resides withing Kylo Ren is the passion for acting, for showing the world that he's a _damn_ good actor, one of the best, despite his unconventional looks and especially _not_ because of the blood running in his veins.

His agent is persistent, though, he'll give her that.

“Kylo – ” she starts, the script of some unknown movie clutched in her hand. She has that tone of voice, though, the pleading one, and Kylo needs to halt this immediately.

“Phasma,” he returns, annoyance coloring his tone. “I already know what you are about to ask. The answer is, and always will be, a resounding _no.”_

The trouble with having one of your best friends also work as your professional manager,Kylo thinks wistfully, is that they fail to be intimidated by his brooding growls and scowls.

“Oh, shove off,” Phasma says in response to his glare. “At least give this one a shot? It's an adaptation of Austen's _Emma,_ not some trashy romance BDSM novel. And besides...” she trails off, giving him a mischievous smirk that would possibly be attractive on someone he hasn't known for decades.

Kylo rolls his eyes in an effort to mask his otherwise budging curiosity. He really ought to fire her, she knows him too well and could potentially more dangerous than beneficial to his career... “Besides _what,_ my soon-to-be-out-of-a-job manager?”

“I have it on good authority that the female lead cast is this absolute nobody who apparently wowed the entire directing staff. Aren't you at least _slightly_ interested in seeing if she's any good?”

He isn't, really, but he has made the mistake of getting Phasma on a roll, and she isn't likely to cease anytime soon. “Oh, yes,” he says, instead. “ _Phasma,_ I believe that when I set eyes upon her I will simply fall to my knees in absolute adoration.”

Phasma snorts. “I didn't mean it that way, but if you're so eager to fall in love then maybe she'll please you. What I _meant_ was that she might have some incredible acting potential, and acting alongside her would be a magnificent career move.”

“It's still a fucking romance, even if she's some prodigal actress,” he protests.

“Have you even read _Emma_ before? It's like, the least romantic of all Austen novels. The main character doesn't even realize she's fallen in love with Mr. Knightley until the book's almost done.”

There's something different about this argument, though. Typically, “No, Phasma,” will deter her long enough to gain some peace and quiet, but her persistence is almost suspicious. There has to be a catch.

Kylo sighs, and if there is a hint of defeat in it, then he will kill the person who chooses to point it out. “Who's the director?”

And then Phasma's previously-victorious grin begins to fade. She catches it quickly enough, but Kylo has been observing her and his eyes narrow. “Your uncle,” she says, knowing that any type of lie will be useless. “ _But!_ I already spoke with him and he is perfectly capable of being the consummate professional and even agreed to your terms, should you choose to audition.”

“No.”

“Just go to the audition, please – ”

“You talked to my _family,”_ and really, he can't help the snarl that accompanies such a filthy word, “without informing me, and I'm not doing it.”

“God _damn_ it, Kylo,” Phasma says, and any teasing in her voice has absolutely vanished. Now she's well and truly irritated at his stubbornness. “You think that leading in a romance is going to corrupt your career, but you seem to be doing a fine job of that without having to kiss a single girl in a movie.”

“I'm not doing it.”

 

-

  
  
Rey is patiently waiting for someone to pop out from behind a nearby building and yell, “We got you good, girl! You've been fucking pranked!”

But Luke-fucking-Skywalker is talking over the line, and she forces herself to hear what he's saying. The sidewalk she's walking down is busy with the noises of daily chatter and passing traffic, and she has to sidestep quickly to evade the young skateboarder that zooms past her and apparently pays no mind to the safety of others. Walking to work regularly always puts her in a good mood, the brisk air and stretching of her limbs gets her blood pumping, but now, the loud chatter around her makes it that much more difficult to understand the man speaking to her on the phone.

“ – should you choose to accept, we would love to meet with you sometime this week,” she hears.

Rey clears her throat and tamps down on her disbelief. “I would be delighted to play Emma!”

“We're very glad to hear that,” he says, and she can hear the smile in his voice. “We're grateful and eager to work with you. May we reconnect soon about specific dates?”

“I'm walking to my agent's office right now, I'll talk to him and we can get back to you ASAP?”

“Perfect. Congratulations, again.”

The grin on her face seems like it will never fade. She quickens her steps, afraid that she's going to make some ridiculous, overjoyed scene in public, and before she knows it, the towering skyscraper of her work comes into view.

Rey has just barely step foot inside of the corporate building of Skywalker Industries when a tall, blonde woman cuts in front of her path. She notices that the woman is clutching a picture of her own headshot, and she politely says, “Hello,” to the woman as she eyes the photo.

“Hello, Rey,” the blonde says, smiling at her. She's statuesque, with her cropped hair and a well-fitting suit, and Rey has absolutely no idea who she is.

“Phasma,” apparently, as the woman introduces herself, and Rey remembers to shake her hand.

“I'd introduce myself as well, but you seem to already know,” she jokes, and the woman gives her a slight smile.

“I'm one of the agents at the First Order, and I was wondering if you had some time for a conversation.”

Why would the First Order wish to speak with her? They're a competing talent agency, known for the ruthless and brutal regimens it puts its prospective actors and actresses through. “I'd love to, have you spoken to my agent? I'm not sure how available my schedule currently is, but we can definitely meet somewhere soon.”

Phasma's eyes seem to gain a determined glean, and it makes Rey pause. “I've already spoken to Finn, yes, and he said it would be alright to borrow you for the time being.”

That doesn't really sound like her best-friend-cum-agent, and she'd like to verify such a thing before going off blindly with the woman. Besides, she hasn't even told him that she got the part! “If you'll just give me a moment, I'll confirm with him. Shouldn't be too long, his office is only on the second floor.”

“Of course.”

They make their way up the stairs – Rey never takes the elevator unless she can't avoid it – and she knocks briefly before entering the office.

“Hey!” Finn says as he looks up, smiling at her.

“Guess who got the role?” she asks, forgoing all introductions as her excitement overflows.

“You're kidding, right? Oh my god, you're not kidding! Congratulations!” And he's up and moving and giving her a huge hug.

“Just got off the phone with Luke Skywalker,” she chirps into his warm, comforting embrace, and before Phasma's eyes they turn into a giddy pair of adrenaline-rushed teenagers.

“I knew you'd nail it!”

“Well, you're the one who told me to go to the audition!”

“And you didn't believe me but you _obviously_ blew them away, Rey, this is so huge!”

“I still can't believe it!”

“I'm so glad we chose that passage, it displayed your emotional range _so_ well!”

Their exhilaration really is endearing, Phasma thinks, but she doesn't have all day to watch them, so she clears her throat loudly.

“Shit, I'm sorry, Phasma, I forgot!” Rey exclaims, moving away from her agent as an embarrassed flush fills her cheeks. “Hey, Finn, am I open for the rest of the day?”

Finn nods to Phasma and it reassures her that they have met already. “You've got some meetings on the agenda for this afternoon, but your morning is free if you want to go with her.”

“Perfect,” Rey says to the both of them.

Phasma looks pleased, and with a few parting words to Finn, they head back down the stairs.

“What did you need to talk to me about, again?” Rey asks the woman.

“I'm Kylo Ren's manager, and I'm afraid I need to you help me convince him to act as your co-star.”

“Hm,” she says, thinking about why the name sounds so familiar. “Oh, he's the actor who made it big off of _Starkiller,_ right?” She isn't completely oblivious to her peers and heroes in the industry, but at the same time it isn't as though she has them all memorized. After hearing his name, she can recall what he looks like and his acting style, and she considers him as Mr. Knightley.

Phasma nods. “He absolutely refuses to act in anything remotely related to romance, but this part could be a breakthrough for his career. And it's a classic piece of literature, but he's just so stubborn...”

Rey lets it sink in that her potential co-star could be _Kylo Ren,_ and then it hits her that this woman, Phasma, couldn't possibly have known that Rey was to be Emma. Hell, she'd only figured it out about an hour ago! “Wait,” she says, suspicion finally coloring her tone as they make their way toward the parking structure underneath the building. “How did you know I was casted as Emma? I _just_ received a call from Luke Skywalker.”

The woman maintains a professional air, but Rey thinks she can see her shoulders slump slightly as the woman exhales a sigh. “I was hoping we wouldn't have to get into this, but perhaps it is best that you know regardless.”

Rey's always had an instinctive curiosity for knowledge, and now she's hooked. “Get into what?”

“Well, Kylo Ren is, as I'm sure you can guess, a stage name. It isn't exactly a huge secret, but it's certainly a taboo topic around Kylo. His birth name is Ben Solo, son of Leia Organa and Han Solo.”

If that isn't the definition of a bomb-drop, then Rey doesn't know what is. Han Solo has been her acting inspiration for close to a decade, and Leia Organa is literally her _boss,_ even if they've never met. “Why would he choose to change his name with that kind of fame running through his blood?” she questions, more to herself than to the blonde.

“It is because of that blood that he changed it,” Phasma says. “His new identity is untarnished by the expectations of acting prodigies, and he's forged a successful path in the industry out of sheer skill and determination.”

Well, she can sympathize with that cause, but the entirety of the situation still puzzles her. Rey has a hard time wrapping her mind around the notion of someone having incredible parents and then _abandoning_ them. How could anyone willingly forsake their familial ties, when so many out there have lost them involuntarily?

“Why do you need me to talk to him?” she asks, still failing to see the connection.

“Luke Skywalker is his uncle, and I believe that your casting may be a crucial motivating factor for his acting. We've been in contact and speak often in regards to advancing Kylo's career.”

Fuck, who _isn't_ this guy connected to? The entire family must have been born on a blue moon or something, famously talented lot that they are. “I'm not sure what I can do to help,” Rey admits. Seriously, she's just a nobody actress – _well, not for long,_ her mind squeals – and Kylo Ren is vastly more successful than her. Doesn't he have the right to turn down roles he does not want?

“I just request that you speak with him,” Phasma says, and the request is simple enough that she aquiesces.

The agent drives a smart-looking, efficient car, and Rey contemplates briefly on the wisdom of entering a car with a complete stranger. She supposes there are worse things she's done, contemplating briefly on the brawls and solitude of her youth, and besides, it isn't as though someone would really try to abduct a grown woman in the middle of the day in downtown D'Qar.

It's an interesting car ride, if only because Rey has never heard an agent speak so negatively about their own client. But Phasma seems nothing if not blunt and honest, and hearing, “He will ridicule you and be rude,” out of her mouth seems almost comical. She shoots back a reassuring response, positive that some spoiled rich boy is something she can easily handle.

That earns her a smirk as the vehicle rolls to a stop, and the blonde motions for her to follow inside the building and into an elevator.

They make their way down a hallway, and Phasma opens a transparent-glass door into what looks like a private office. Rey trails after her and sees famed actor Kylo Ren casually lounging on the couch pushed up against the right side of the room.

Knowing of a legend, and even meeting them in passing, is vastly different from sitting in a tightly-enclosed room with them. Rey feels nerves prickling her skin, but she holds steady. Phasma's warned him of the man's harshness, and it's nothing she can't deal with, but he's achieved acting goals she's only ever dreamed of and the sheer presence of him has her awareness spiking.

“You've brought a child to entice me into this role?” Kylo asks his manager, hardly sparing her a look past the cursory one that his tipped head glanced over her.

And just like that, her admiration of him dissipates. She is not a child, and while she may be here at the behest of his manager, his rudeness is unforgivable. Rey still feels the vague itch of attraction when she glares at his stupidly-attractive visage, but it only serves to fuel her budding anger further.

“I'm not a child,” she says, and she knows her accent is probably clipped into the stiff politeness of an offended Brit. “I'm nearly 22, now, and a professional.”

“She's also Emma Woodhouse of the upcoming _Emma_ adaptation, directed by Luke Skywalker,” Phasma adds as she sets her keys and bag atop the office desk. Her office, then, Rey thinks, before the disbelieving laughter interrupts her thought process.

“ _You?”_ he asks, laughing. His head hits the cushion of the sofa, he's laughing so hard, and it would almost seem comical to Rey if it wasn't _her_ that he was laughing at.

“I've heard of you, Kylo Ren,” Rey says, and she manages to keep calm despite the rage bubbling under her skin. She's going to be a _lead_ actress in a movie directed by Luke Skywalker, and underestimating her is a grave mistake. Phasma's statement has her preening internally: this is her big chance to prove her talent, and she positively cannot _wait_ to prove assholes like Kylo Ren wrong. And it doesn't matter that she's talking to one of the top actors of the century, he's being an _ass_ and it isn't going to go unnoticed by her. “They say that you're hellish to work with, with your ridiculous demands and abysmal rudeness. That you have this holier-than-thou attitude and think you're the best.”

“I am the best,” he purrs, and maybe some kind of switch has been switched because he's finally paying attention to her. He sits up from the posh couch before standing, and this close Rey can truly observe his infamous height. He towers over her small frame, and _looking down at her_ has never had more literal and figurative meaning. “And you are just a little starstruck girl who is about to make a fool of herself in a failure of a film.”

“I'm going to be _magnificent,”_ Rey challenges, keeping eye contact with him. He's belittling her, but she's never one to back down, and her fierce glare matches his own.

His eyes are pools of dark resentment and disdain for her. “You'll have to prove such an outlandish claim."

“I will,” she bites, and because her competitive spirit is fired up, now, she adds, “And you'll be there to see it, _Mr. Knightley.”_

The surprised bark of laughter escaping from his throat startles both of them. “Alright, then, girl,” he says, and Rey feels a flash of triumph before she grabs her things and escapes the office without saying another word.

It isn't until she is a safe distance away that Rey realizes a.) Phasma had been the one to give her a ride, and now she has no idea where she is, and b.) she just goaded Kylo Ren, the rudest asshole she has ever had the displeasure of meeting, into acting alongside her.

Well, fuck.

 

-

 

“Give me the script, Phasma.”

“Not going to go back on your word, then?”

“I want to see her fail.”

“So you'll play the part?”

“If only to stifle your obnoxious begging and reveal this to be the horrific idea that it is. I suddenly find myself invested in watching Skywalker's film crash and burn.”

“As you command.”

“Stop smiling. It's dreadful.”

 

-

 

Their first day on the set is horrific.

Well, it would be more accurate to say, the first day on their _former-_ set is horrific, because the fire damage done to the sitting room meant to film one of the earliest scenes is now an irredeemable, smoldering mess of torn, singed cloth, and broken china.

The fabled Horror Stories of Working with Kylo Ren are accurate, much to Rey's dismay, and she can hardly manage to _exist_ in the same general vicinity as him without wanting to tear her own hair out.

He is an absolutely cocky bastard, and has no respect for her whatsoever. She knows he has the capacity for kindness – well, maybe not _kindness,_ but something akin to civility, at least – because she's seen him conversing with one of their co-stars, a man who introduced himself to her as _Hux, I'll be playing Mr. Churchill._ The man even _laughed_ at one of the redhead's jokes. It infuriates Rey further to know that he _chooses_ to portray himself as an insulting prick, and makes her even more determined to knock him on his ass during their first scene together.

Tensions between the two co-stars have made mostly everyone on set wary, though, and Rey's spent much of the day convincing the others that she is more than capable of being a professional. She notes, however, that Kylo Ren has not moved a single inch to placate his co-workers, and she feels a bit smug at her clearly-elevated maturity.

Part of her, a small, minuscule part, is upset that Kylo doesn't even deign to witness her acting. They've filmed Mrs. Taylor's wedding, as well as a few other scenes, but her supposed co-star has never been around to watch her.

Luke has assured her that Kylo will make no move to intentionally sabotage their movie, a fear Rey didn't even consider until he'd brought it up, but the man still refuses to even observe her while she's in-character. They have their first scene together filmed for the next day, but Rey has to tamp down on that tiny bit of her heart that feels hurt whenever he does not give her a chance to prove herself.

The day of filming passes by too quickly, and before she knows it Rey is back on set the next morning, sitting in a chair while a makeup artist fusses about her complexion.

Today will be the first day that her and Kylo have a scene together, and the thought doesn't make her nervous. More than anything, it makes her frustrated, and she hasn't even seen the tall (and begrudgingly handsome) actor yet.

“Stop making that face,” the makeup artist says to her. “It's giving you creases that make you look awful.”

“Sorry,” Rey mutters, smoothing her face into something more expressionless.

“Better,” the woman responds, and she fiddles with a makeup brush for a few more minutes before declaring her 'masterpiece' completed.

Rey gives her a genuine _thank you_ before making her way over to the set. The dress she's in is lovely, a peach-colored flowing swathe of delicate fabric, and she feels very regal as she moves. Not even the most beautiful of dresses and finely-applied makeup can brighten her mood once she sees Kylo Ren brooding in a chair nearby their set, though.

His dark, curled hair is combed back in a well-groomed look, and the dark overcoat he's wearing drapes nicely over loose white trousers. The period clothes should look ridiculous, but instead they look sophisticated and well-fitting on his tall frame, and Rey scowls at his appealing features. Not even the most gorgeous looks in the universe can excuse his pile-of-shit personality, and it does her well to remember how rude he truly is.

She attempts to be the bigger person as she moves closer, though, offering him a polite, “Hello, are you ready for today?”

“I wouldn't dream of showing up unprepared,” he says, scathingly. “Don't tell me you're asking because _you_ feel unready. How unprofessional, Rey.”

Why does he insist on enticing her into anger so frequently? “Get off your high horse, _Ren,_ ” she spits. “You're not the only one around here capable of acting well.”

“I've not seen evidence of you _acting well,_ so forgive me if I don't believe in unfounded words.”

“Wha – you've _refused_ to even watch me!” And the confession makes her cheeks burn, that she had been observing him closely enough to take note of his specific absences, and she hopes that he missed her slip-up.

No such luck, though, because his eyes turn predatory and the smirk that fills his features is just _cruel._ “At least you've been paying attention to the only significant actor around here,” he says haughtily, and she really does have to restrain herself from punching him.

Rey has the perfectly biting remark set up in response, but she's interrupted as Luke walks over to them. “Let's get into position,” he says pointedly at the both of them.

Apparently the tension between them is fairly palpable.

The realization of the situation she's in hits Rey, then. She's a markedly _not_ -famous actress in a potential breakout role alongside one of the most famous men in the industry, and even if he is a pompous asshole, it is their literal job to work together and produce art. She feels humbled by the thought, and moves to the set with a tension-releasing breath.

They're filming one of the first scenes of the novel, the one she had borrowed her audition passage from, where Emma brags about her matchmaking as Mr. Knightley arrives and berates her for not contemplating the potential consequences of her actions. Rey closes her eyes, thinks of Emma's childish giddiness, and when she opens them again she's ready for the scene.

But it's barely begun before Luke's yelling, “Cut!”

Rey turns to the director as he says, “You're meant to be childhood friends. Kylo, you can't look at her as though you're mortal enemies.”

The reprimand isn't meant for her, she realizes, but maybe she isn't as focused as she believed herself to be. Opening her mouth to apologize, she stills her words as she takes in Kylo's reaction to his uncle's words. She had expected something like shame to fill his features in the face of unprofessional acting, but instead his prideful features are _smug,_ as though it is entirely her fault that the scene was ruined before it began. Rey swallows her words. She isn't about to apologize for him, and if he's the one too immature to act with her, then it will reflect poorly on _him._

“Try again,” Luke says, moving back and allowing them to return to their positions.

Rey focuses again and begins talking to the actor playing Mr. Woodhouse with the practiced ease of memorization. The cues signal for Mr. Knightley to enter and begin conversing with Emma's father, and it's beginning to look like they may finally have a decent take.

But the dialogue of their first interaction is stilted, and Rey cannot maintain Emma's personality when it is so clear that Kylo Ren is taunting her behind the visage of Mr. Knightley. His words are on-script, but his facial expressions are a blatant challenge, and as soon as her words are spoken she knows the tone is absolutely wrong. Emma dislikes being berated by her friend, but her tone sounds much too resentful and mean, and the following “Cut!” makes her frown.

Takes continue unsuccessfully after that. There's always a disruption that jolts Rey out of her acting, and the resolute smugness tattooed onto Kylo's features are doing nothing to quell her rising anger.

Luke is finally starting to appear frustrated, too, and after a particularly awful take he pulls both Rey and Kylo to the side, much to their mutual disdain. “I don't know what's going on, but if you two need to separate and immerse yourselves in your characters before starting, then do it. This petty fighting will put us behind schedule.”

Rey feels abashed, but the idea isn't a bad one, and she takes the initiative. “Thank you for the idea, Luke. Maybe we'll give it a shot, eh, Kylo?” And maybe the jab of her elbow into his ribcage in mockery of a playful motion is just a _bit_ too hard, but his acting prowess shines through and he responds to her forced grin with one that looks convincingly genuine and no painful reaction whatsoever.

“Of course, Rey.”

 

-

 

Kylo isn't expecting much from the girl. She does look pretty with her makeup and hair done up, he'll give her that, but it certainly is not as though every single pretty girl can act. He prepares himself away from her, irritated that she's riled him up even this much. Maybe Luke is right – and doesn't _that_ thought irk him – and they both need to get into character before interacting. A film like this one relies on character interaction, and although Kylo does not wish for the Skywalkers to gain commercial success off of his own talent, he _has_ chosen to act in this film and will not compromise his skill and reputation just to spite them. Mr. Knightley is critical of Emma's actions, but in a playful way, and Kylo eases himself into the character he's crafted.

He makes his way to the set intended for filming, and the serenity that acting brings him calms him down significantly. Right now, he could be anyone, far removed from the ties of blood and family and obligations. It is the most flawless of escapes – a transformation that serves to soothe his very soul. Releasing the tension of fighting with the nobody actress, he breathes in the passion of his chosen art form.

She's standing there, and through Mr. Knightley's eyes, he sees the younger, bitingly intelligent woman of his affections. She's gorgeous despite her lack of foresight, and teasing her, seeing how flustered she gets before she comes up with a quick-witted quip, fills him with love.

The cameras roll, and he can feel the script's words rolling off his tongue, but all he knows is _Emma._ Her catty, just a touch offended, response at his warning words, and in the stubbornness of her opinions he sees her potential downfall. As their conversation progresses, his teasing transforms into concern and disapproval. He does not want to see her live to regret her choices, and others involved may legitimately be hurt by her actions.

He hardly realizes how well they play off one another, until he sees that the girl is actually _leading him_ through the scene. He's fallen under a spell of hers, he's sure, but she's guiding him through their dialogue, predicting and handling his reactions in a precise way that has never quite happened to him, before.

The loud, “Cut!” and excited chatter that follows are jarring, and Kylo comes back into himself as something horrible simmers just below the surface of his skin. It is a building itch, awful in its burning, and despite the congratulatory noises and exclamations of how fantastic the scene was, he can't bear to be in her vicinity for a moment longer.

He can't think. He must escape.

 

-

 

The storm following Kylo Ren is one that Phasma is fairly used to, but the slamming open of her door still manages to startle her just the slightest bit.

“Who taught her!?” Kylo roars, and does not say, _And why wasn't it me?_ as he stalks into his manager's office.

Phasma smirks and leans back calmly in her chair. This has been a long time coming, and she feels absolutely no remorse toward her friend. “Who taught who?”

“ _Don't_ play dumb with me,” he hisses.

“Could it be you're talking about Rey?” she says, lightly, and when he grabs at the nearest object on her desk and tosses it, full-strength, against the wall until it shatters, well. It wasn't a candle that she was particularly attached to, anyway.

“How can that little _nobody brat_ have such prowess!? She led me on as though I was a goddamned novice!”

“She's self-taught,” Phasma says offhandedly, and Kylo slams his hands down on her desk with such force she thinks she hears a crack. “Calm the fuck down, Kylo, I'll not have you destroy my office.”

He gives her a fierce look, but backs off physically, instead choosing to yell and rant about his co-star until Phasma thinks his throat may go hoarse. When he's finally calmed down from his self-induced rage, Kylo drops onto the couch with an ungraceful noise. “It doesn't make any sense,” he mutters to himself. Phasma rolls her eyes at his disbelief and turns her attention back to her computer.

The muttering continues, and she can decipher a few choice phrases. “How is she so goddamn talented?” and “I must have her,” are among them, and Phasma has to try _very_ hard not to let her silent laughs be heard.

 

-

 

Filming after their first scene together almost seems like a blessing to Rey. The mutual agreement to slip into their characters before their genuine personalities have the chance to clash has done wonders for their work, and the tension around the set has finally dissipated, much to the relief of essentially everyone.

They do still come across one another out-of-character on-set, though. And it is in these moments that Rey gives in to her inner smugness. The tables have turned, now, and Kylo Ren can't avoid acknowledging her skill, and she's become quite talented at tossing scathing remarks his way whenever they cross paths.

The only strange thing about it is that Kylo does not seem to have the bitter fire of his previous attitude. He's still rude to her, still comments frequently on how she should be _honored_ that her acting is complemented so well by his superior skill, but the insults tend to fall flat without his comments regarding her supposed poor acting skills. It's odd, but Rey can't help but antagonize him. If he's gotten weaker at his insult game, that certainly isn't her problem.

 

-

 

He was so, _so_ wrong about her. Admitting it, surprisingly, isn't the hardest part. The most difficult thing, Kylo finds, is that the more they act together, the more captivated he is by her. When they act together, he is constantly stunned by how fully she immerses herself into her acting, and she's beautiful both in and out-of-character.

Mr. Knightley as a character may possibly be influencing his opinions regarding Rey, as she does play his love interest, but it certainly fails to explain why he's thinking about her even after filming is over for the day. She's just a simple girl, small and unassuming, but she commands the room while the cameras are rolling, and she commands his goddamn heart when they're arguing and insulting each other while the cameras aren't.

Before he knows it, the movie filming is complete. Luke has given him several respectful glances during their last few weeks, and he is beyond thankful that the terms of his casting involve absolutely _no_ mention of familial connection, or else he's sure that some sort of lecture about speaking to his parents would have occurred.

Kylo is even more confident that Mr. Knightley and Emma have nothing to do with his building infatuation for Rey when filming ceases, and he still can't get her out of his mind. It's been days since they've acted along side one another, and _Rey_ still permeates his thoughts almost constantly. He's learned a little bit about her from prying conversations with her annoying agent, mostly about her dismal life growing up and her ferocious dedication to the few things she loves – acting, gardening, and the undying loyalty to her small group of friends – and his heart gives a resentful pang whenever he considers that he is not one of those things.

The months pass with agonizing slowness, and Kylo is horrified to discover that thoughts of Rey have only intensified in her physical absence. Teasing her on a regular basis and making her eyes flash with fiery challenge have become addicting pastimes, and now that he is without them it almost feels like some kind of withdrawal.

 _He misses her,_ and the thought is striking. Kylo Ren does not feel such crippling emotions for others. True love is a myth, even his parents were hit with the misconception and led to his suffering because of their irresponsibility, but the powerful emotion that courses through him seems to have no other name.

Just under a year ago, he'd told Phasma that _Kylo Ren does not_ do _romance,_ and he understands deeply why he had avoided such a weakness for so long. He damns her in the privacy of his mind for reducing him to this, this love-struck fool, and he withdraws from any prospective roles that are offered. The thought of moving on and beginning a new project sends him into a panic. If he lets go of _Emma,_ then it is akin to giving up _Rey,_ and such a thing is unfathomable.

The official release of _Emma_ is coming up, and Kylo survives the months without her by thinking of the premiere as a saving grace.

 

-

 

Premieres always fill Rey with a sense of awe-struck wonderment. She's been to many now, tons of sidelining actors gain access to them, but she's never been the _star_ of one before. She's wearing a gorgeous lace-and-tulle white gown that is probably more expensive than anything she's ever owned before, but thankfully it's a loan and as long as she doesn't spill any wine or food on it she doesn't have to worry about the price tag.

Months have passed since Rey has seen Kylo Ren, and it is one of the many blessings of her life, recently. Such a quick, instant rise to stardom does have its drawbacks, and Rey is only just barely beginning to learn how to sneak around paparazzi and attempt to go about daily life.

She adore it, though. The attention satisfies her in a way that the lonely isolation of an orphan never could, and the smiles she offers the camera are absolutely genuine.

Awareness prickles on her skin, though. Kylo is somewhere around her, she's been fielding questions about the two of them for the past few minutes, but they thankfully have not crossed paths yet.

They haven't really discussed the protocol of how to act once they do meet, and Rey is just hoping it isn't an explosive collision of verbal spats. She's capable of reining herself in, especially in front of this many people, but he's been unpredictable from day one.

Her concerns are nullified by the handsome smile on his face when they do meet and take obligatory pictures together, though. He doesn't speak to her, instead placing a large hand on the small of her back and ushering her into the large theater for the premiere, and even though they're sitting next to each other, Luke is on-stage and speaking, and there is no time to argue. She does compliment his superb acting skills in the privacy of her mind. He hadn't even flinched or shot her a disgusted look when he touched her.

The movie is magnificent, and Rey is almost crying by the end just from sheer amazement and giddiness. Luke is a brilliant director, and the film looks incredible, and she's filled with so many emotions that overflow when Luke calls the cast up to the stage. She's sure that her makeup artist is cursing her, somewhere, as she grins brightly through the tears, and all Rey can think about is how this is the best night of her life.

The afterparty passes in a blur of congratulatory remarks and red wine, and Rey is tipsy enough that when Kylo Ren approaches her and mutters a request about having her meet him outside, she complies unthinkingly.

The night air is crisp, and she rubs at her arms to generate some sort of heat. “What is it?” she asks, eager to get back inside to the warmth and happiness of her coworkers.

He seems to start and stop, making some sort of abortive gesture with his hands before letting them fall to his sides. “Rey...”

Rey is honestly still waiting for the inevitable outburst that occurs whenever their clashing personalities intersect, but it doesn't come. She realizes that he's waiting for some kind of cue, so she slowly says, “Kylo?”

“I just, ah,” he mutters, moving a hand to run it through his hair nervously. She's never really seen him like this, without his cocky bravado in-tact, and seeing his confidence shaken by something is interesting.

“Just what?”

“Wanted to apologize,” he mutters begrudgingly. “I haven't exactly been nice to you, and I'm... sorry.”

She stares at him, chilled goosebumps forgotten in the face of his words.

“Look, I underestimated you,” Kylo continues when she remains silent. His words are stilted, and she can tell he is taking great pains to speak them aloud. “You're great with acting and just... being you, and maybe we can start over?”

“Is this some kind of joke?” she blurts out unthinkingly. Maybe aliens have taken over and one has stolen Kylo Ren's body.

“What?” Kylo asks, and his voice sounds light even to Rey's ears, as though he is going into shock or something. Well, maybe she's had too much wine, then, because this can't be real.

She's tempted to ask about her ongoing alien hypothesis aloud, but she doesn't want to be labeled as crazy. “I'm sorry, I just don't know how to respond, is this a new way for you to make fun of me?”

He actually looks shocked. “No, _fuck,_ Rey, I think I'm fucking in love with you, I'm not _joking_ – ”

And the words still them both. Kylo's face is doing its best impression of a tomato, and Rey can't help the laugh that escapes her. This is so ridiculous, and she knows that the last thing he expects of her is to laugh, but if it _is_ some way to mock her, then she's definitely coming out the victor in this weird moment.

“Fuck you,” he says as he turns on his heel and leaves, and she feels kind of bad, but what the _fuck._ Kylo Ren, the man who accused her of being some talentless little girl, suddenly blushing and stuttering and giving her a _love confession_?

The alien theory really isn't sounding too far-fetched.

 

-

 

Things get worse, after that. Press conferences and interviews with television shows have them forced into tight quarters with one another, constantly having to feign admiration for each other, and if Kylo was mean to her while _Emma_ was filmed, now he's downright cruel.

Off-camera, he refuses to talk to her. All he does is glare and stare at her, and she does her best to ignore it. It reminds her of when she lived on the streets of Jakku, constantly on the alert for the physical assault of someone trying to take advantage of her, and Rey has to remind herself frequently that for all of his crude malevolence, he has never once attempted to hurt her physically. She's forced to draw on all of her acting skills to affect a solid relationship with him when they're on-air.

It makes Rey feel uncomfortable, the amount of times she's feigned a giggle and an affectionate, “Oh, Kylo's so great to work with!” But she doesn't want to commit career suicide by outing him as a horrible, moody, egocentric co-star, and besides, Finn would murder her over the bad press, so she pastes the grins on and hopes nobody sees past the lie.

The only saving grace to their constant attachment to one another is that Kylo _has_ to behave, especially since now they're in the public sphere so frequently. The dark looks and scowls he shoots her are caustic, but he does have the foresight to transform into a roguishly charming actor during their interviews.

The first time it happens, it's just after a late night talk show that Luke pulls her aside. He looks vaguely concerned, and Rey isn't sure why. Things have been going great, and the movie is projected to receive several award nominations.

Her confusion only builds when Luke asks, “Are things between you and Kylo alright?”

“Things between Kylo and I have never been alright, Luke,” she responds, a bemused look upon her face. Had he even _watched_ them during filming? It wasn't exactly a secret of their mutual hatred for one another.

“I understand that you two haven't gotten along well, but it seems as though what relationship you had has... deteriorated,” he continues. The entire conversation is taking a strange turn, and it take a few moments before Rey realizes that his concern stems from his familial connections. He's clearly noticed that their spats have transformed into something darker, and he's probably worried about his nephew.

“Well, I can't speak for him, but I haven't done anything!” she says quickly. “He's just decided I'm the scum of the earth, or something.”

“You haven't said anything to him? No misunderstandings?”

She thinks of her involuntary laughter towards his strange, mocking love-confession-slash-request-to-reconcile, and oh, maybe she is partially responsible for the daggers he glares into her back. “I may have,” Rey says slowly, unwilling to reveal the intimate details to who she's quickly seeing as a mentor-figure. “I'll have a conversation sometime soon with him, alright?”

Luke seems satisfied. “I've been in contact with his manager, and she is concerned about him. I think you two will be able to work it out.”

Rey really does intend to follow-up with her promise, but she's swamped with interviews and photo shoots and fan-meets for the foreseeable future, and anyway, it isn't her first priority.

The second time takes place while Finn's talking to her about numbers and how _Emma_ is skyrocketing her popularity when someone knocks at his office door.

The person who enters is none other than Leia Organa, and as soon as they register just who is walking in, they scramble to present themselves.

“Uh – hello – hi there, ma'am,” Finn stutters, staring panicked at the messy, paper-filled contents of his desk.

Rey sits up abruptly, feeling as haphazard about her appearance as the dangerously-leaning stack of scripts on the corner of Finn's desk. “Hi, Ms. Organa! Can we do something for you?”

“As a matter of fact, yes,” she says as she closes the door behind her. “Do relax, though, this isn't some sort of inspection or interrogation.”

Finn lets out an audible sigh of relief, and Rey relaxes back into the couch. “How can we help?”

“I'm coming to you not as your boss, but as a mother,” she starts, and Rey suppresses her groan. Is _everything_ about Kylo-fucking-Ren?

“Pardon me,” she says as politely as she can. “But I don't think there's much I can do for him.”

“I'm certainly not asking you to work any miracles,” Leia says. “But I've heard that Kylo has had such a strong reaction to you that I've got to believe you hold the power to assist him.”

“Assist him, how?”

“Please just talk to him? Perhaps encourage him to reach out to his father or me?” The request parallels Phasma's, and Rey ponders why everyone keeps asking _her_ to talk to Kylo Ren instead of doing it themselves.

Leia looks older with this somber look on her face, and it touches Rey a bit. She truly can't fault the woman for wanting to reconnect with her son, even if he is the spawn of Satan.

“I'll see what I can do,” Rey sighs resignedly, and at least the way Leia's face lights up is motivating.

“Thank you, dear. He really is deserving of affection, it's awful how much he pushes us all away.”

Wait, affection?

The third, and thankfully final, time it happens, she's just finishing up a dinner with the Skywalker-Organa-Kenobi triad that she has apparently been indoctrinated into when Han walks up to her.

“Are you here to tell me that Kylo's really a great guy and I should give him a chance?” Rey eyes her hero suspiciously. She can only handle so many _motivational speeches,_ especially about a spoiled, bratty actor who is apparently _misunderstood_ and _deserving of affection._

“Hell no, the kid's a little shit.,” he says, and she thinks, _I knew there was a reason I admired you. “_ I heard that Luke and Leia harassed you about it, though, and figured I'd see how you were doing.”

“I don't know,” Rey sighs, thinking about her previous conversations. “I understand that he didn't used to be this pompous ass – ” she pauses a moment as she realizes that she is legitimately shit-talking Han Solo's son – “but whenever _his majesty_ deigns to speak to me it's insulting and rude drivel. Makes it hard to believe he's capable of being nice to others.”

Han thinks on her words for a second. “I think he still has a bit of that four-year-old mentality rattling around his head. Actually, maybe more than a little bit. He's stuck in the phase where he shows that he likes a girl by pulling her pigtails.”

The argument might hold weight, but Rey isn't so easily convinced. Kylo Ren isn't just teasing her with cutesy words and flirts, he's trying to tear her down verbally through insulting, biting jabs. “He's doing an awful job, then,” she says. “All _pulling my pigtails_ does is make me want to deck him in his stupid face.”

“Fair point,” Han concedes. “Never said he was _good_ at wooing girls, it's a shame he never picked that up from me...”

Rey snorts at the idea of Kylo Ren being some kind of charming ladies' man. Han looks over her shoulder at someone, maybe Leia, and murmurs to her about needing to go speak to someone else.

“Although,” he says as he makes a move to leave. “Your spats remind me a lot of Leia and me when we were younger. Hate and love are fairly similar, Rey, and they made for some _incredibly_ tense moments between us, if you catch my drift.”

And, oh _god_ , did he just wink at her? Is he actually talking about _sex_ and _his son_ in the same breath!?

“Ugh, I take it all back,” she moans in aggravation as Han's chuckles echo around the room. “Never talk to me again, you've officially been stripped of your hero title."

 

-

 

Lectures from Kylo's family members are not something Rey ever thought would be a a frequent occurrence in her lifetime. She can scarcely even believe that she's somehow been accepted into their tightly-knit community, let alone _told to go pursue their estranged relative_ , and apparently it's so surreal that she's actually considering it.

  
The notion of salvaging their potential friendship, especially if Kylo's aborted attempt at reconciliation was genuine, is not entirely unappealing to her. She remembers the twinge of jealousy she felt on-set whenever Kylo interacted with that friend of his, Hux, and the ensuing wonderment at his refusal to ever be civil with her.

  
Her musings have led her to this unassuming wooden door. The entrance to Kylo's penthouse looks extravagant, all expensive architecture and tasteful gardening (which she _has_ to ignore, because if she investigates the lovely flowers planted around the front and the ivy climbing up the walls, she'll never leave), and it makes her feel ridiculous for even being here, but she feels responsible for at least one conversation with him.

Before her courage leaves her, she gives two firm knocks, and it isn't long before he opens the door in response.

It's clear that he isn't expecting her. Kylo looks disheveled, donning a white button-down shirt opened to reveal a chiseled chest, and his hair looks a rugged mess of tangled, thick curls. “What are you doing here?” he asks suspiciously, eyes narrowed at her. She notices that without the assistance of makeup artists, the skin under his eyes are clearly marred by the deep bruises of sleep deprivation.

“I just want to talk,” she says, reminding herself to stand up straight and project absolute confidence. “Can I come in?”

Kylo shrugs in acquiescence, or maybe defeat, and she follows him inside. The interior of his home is just as lush as the exterior, and she takes it all in for a moment. The wealth decorating the large, expansive room they're in is almost overwhelming.

“Well, then?” he asks, snapping her attention back on him. He's a safe distance away from her and looking at her warily, as if she's a rabid dog about to attack.

“I'm sorry for laughing at you at the premiere,” she says, because it's as good a place to start as any. “The animosity between us had been so potent that your confession seemed absolutely fabricated, and I reacted poorly.”

He eyes her from across the room, gauging her honesty. “It was a mistake to talk to you,” he says, and she prickles, ready to snark at him, before she interprets his words for what they truly are: a defense mechanism against her horrible response to his honest request.

Rey forces her shoulders to relax. Antagonizing him inside his own home is just cruel, and she really is here to talk and hopefully remove the biting tension surrounding them. “No, it wasn't. The only mistake was how I reacted. I'm truly sorry.”

“Fine,” Kylo responds shortly. “Apology accepted. Is that all?”

She's really trying, here, but apparently it's akin to speaking at a brick wall. “No,” she growls. “If we _are_ going to start over and try to be friends, then I'm going to need more than your clipped, detached words.”

“Friends?” he huffs, and she's pleased that he's displaying some kind of emotion, even if it's an aggravated one. “I don't want to be your _friend_ , Rey.”

Except for _that_ emotional display. “Why not?” she demands. “You asked to start over with me, obviously you didn't mean having a repeat of this insulting bullshit!”

“Because I _loathe_ what you've done to me,” he's saying, but all she can focus on is how quickly those long legs move across the expanse of the floor, and how he's suddenly crowding her personal space.

It reminds her of their first encounter, when he'd challenged and insulted and looked down on her, but now, his stare is much more feral and dangerous. He looks like he wants to consume her, now, and it takes a significant amount of effort to meet his gaze with her own determined one.

“What do you mean by that?”

“You've ruined me,” he replies darkly. The air feels electrified with this unknown tension as their eyes lock, and she feels frozen in her movements.

Rey wants to ask how, but he's lifting his hands to frame her face, and he's still speaking. “Affection is _disgusting_ and vicious and I've avoided it for the entirety of my life, removed myself from all members of my family because of it, and then _you_ come out of nowhere and you're infecting my blood, poisoning me with it...” And his voice is a terrified mixture of longing and agony, and it hits her. _Oh._

It is very possible that Rey has repressed all positive emotions for Kylo Ren until this moment, because she suddenly feels an overwhelming wave of empathy for him. She hazards a brief guess about _preservation instinct,_ but she's lost in her sympathy. Not just sympathy, though, when he's looking at her as though she is the weapon of his destruction, and words catch in her throat. She can't speak, not with this revelation hitting her with the impact of a train, and all she can do is stare at him.

His hands are still cupping her face, a gentle contrast to the harsh honesty of his words. He looks almost tortured, staring down at her, and his request is near-silent as his gaze drops to her lips. “May I?”

She nods, a quick jerk of her head, and then lips are pressed against her own. Kylo groans lightly at the contact, and even though the kiss is fairly chaste, he quickly bears down on her as his arms move to envelop her and she sinks into him.

A tongue presses against the seam of her lips, begging for entrance, and Rey lets him in, fully accepting him into her mouth and her bloodstream and maybe her heart.

Kylo's desperation, for release or for her she isn't sure, mounts, and he's guiding her through the room until her back hits a wall. Pressed up against the smooth surface, she gasps as his arms move to cage her against the solid wall, and then he's dipping down to catch her lips with his own again, biting at the flesh of her mouth.

Breathing suddenly seems so unimportant compared to the vital necessity of the press against their lips and tangling of their tongues, but she begins to feel slightly faint from the lack of air and pulls back to gasp for precious breath.

“I've, _ah,_ never done this before,” she pants against his lips once her lungs stop burning so severely, and his entire frame tenses in reaction to her words. Rey's flooded by the sudden sense of self-consciousness, _shit,_ he's going to mock her for her lack of experience, and she's already made up a game-plan of how quickly she can detach herself from his person and bolt out of his home when he presses the entire length of his body against hers and makes a desperate noise.

“Fuck, Rey,” he says, nudging a knee in between her legs, and _oh._ “Give a man some warning.”

“Sorry,” Rey murmurs. “It doesn't turn you off?” Sex hasn't exactly been on her priorities list, considering _stop being homeless_ and _get a job to survive_ had ranked among the top for the most significant years of her life.

“Does it seem like I'm turned off?” he challenges her, and with his leg positioned against her own, she can feel the bulge of his hardness against her thigh. “It's about the hottest thing I've ever heard, that no one has had you before me.”

His words make her swallow thickly as the heat of arousal pools deep in her belly, and she says, “Oh,” before tipping her head to catch his lips in a heated kiss.

He moves away too quickly, and Rey can't contain the whine she releases when their lips part, but then he's kissing down the column of her throat and across her collarbone, and it's a forgivable transgression because he's dragging his teeth lightly against her flesh. The resounding shiver wracks her entire frame, and she lets out an embarrassingly loud moan as he sucks, hard, right against the pulse of her throat.

Rey's grinding down against the firm presence of his leg, and she can feel how wet he's making her. Just because she's inexperienced does not mean she's an idiot, she knows where this is headed, and she tries to purr seductively, “Is there somewhere more comfortable we can continue?”

Kylo is apparently not fucking around, because she hardly registers that he has _literally_ picked her up, bridal-style, and is carrying her to what she presumes is his bedroom, until she's softly let down onto the bed.

“So gentle,” she teases, because _honestly,_ if he'd just been this nice to her from day one, they could have been having mind-blowing sex for _a year_.

But the look he pins her down with is predatory and sensual and anything but _gentle,_ and he offers her a wordless smirk.

It sends another rush of heat through her body, and she has to pause for a moment to gather her bearings. He's dangerous like this, confident in his abilities and overwhelming presence, and she's not entirely sure she can keep up.

Rey fumbles to slip her shirt off as he undresses before wiggling out of her jeans. He's occupied with something, rummaging through a nearby nightstand drawer, and when he pulls out a pack of condoms she can't help the blush that floods her cheeks. She flushes at the fact that she hadn't even considered the notion, and he looks at her with a tenderness she hadn't known him capable of.

“I'll do my best to minimize the pain,” he tells her as he crawls onto the bed, packets in hand. It's a contrast to the alluring masculinity he's exuding, but not an unwelcome one. “You'll tell me if I need to stop?”

Maybe it's time for her own bravado, and Rey steels herself as she moves forward to strip him of the dark boxers encasing his hips. She's nervous, and has a sneaking suspicion that he can see the slight tremor in her hands as she pushes the clothing out of the way to reveal his hard erection, but she murmurs, “Of course,” before nabbing a condom packet from his fingers.

He's huge, and Rey thinks for a moment about the improbability of _that_ fitting inside of her, but he's also proven to be careful and gentle when the moment commands it, and so she stretches out a hand to softly grip his erection.

She takes a deep breath and looks up at him as he kneels on the bed, and he looks captivated by her. She rips open the packet and moves to roll it over his length with her other hand, and when she makes contact with his burning flesh again he lets out a soft hiss. “Alright?” she asks, biting her lip.

“More than,” Kylo says, and as soon as the condom is secured, he's pushing her down onto the bed and kissing her again. She's absolutely fine with kissing, it makes her feel all floaty and he tastes delicious, but then he's snaking a hand down to her revealed panties and slipping a hand inside, and that's just _hot_ and she arcs with pleasure before he's even slipped inside of her.

The first finger that breaches her entrance is slicked with her own juices, and Rey gasps into Kylo's mouth at the sensation of him smoothly penetrating her. He lets out a soft hum as he adds another, and with two of his long fingers slowly pushing in and out of her, she feels like she's about to lose it.

“Let it happen,” he breathes into her ear, taking it into his mouth and laving it with his hot tongue. She can feel the pressure building as her muscles tense involuntarily, and she squirms underneath him as his fingers fuck her. It doesn't take long before his motions stimulate her in orgasm, and Rey comes, gasping, as Kylo continues to press into her. She can feel her inner walls spasming around his fingers, and can just barely hear the sounds of her slickness above the pounding of her heart. It is a startling realization that she's gripping onto his arm so tightly she thinks she's drawn blood with her nails.

Above her, Kylo's breathing hard. “I don't think I'll ever tire of how you look when you come,” he pants, and she feels like a wreck already but he's hard and obviously wanting.

“Mm,” she sighs through the endorphins racing in her veins. “Well, I'd love to say the same about you.”

Her flirt seems to catch him off-guard, despite the very compromising position that they're in, and he looks momentarily lost before a determined look unfurls on his features. “You little minx,” he accuses, sliding his fingers out of her and moving to grab at her hips.

And although he seems ready to fuck her, hard, he's clearly not forgotten about her virginity. Combating the firm grip of her pelvis, he slides slowly into her, tension wrought within his frame as he restrains himself.

“Fuck, you feel amazing,” he pants, and Rey feels empowered with his clear infatuation.

“I'm not going to break, Kylo,” she says, and _fuck,_ she was slightly too cocky, because he slides completely into her after that and it _does_ burn a fair bit. But past her initial wince and his apologetic kiss to her temple, cheeks, lips, the slow rhythm of his hips in motion begins to stir arousal within her again.

He picks up the pace once it becomes clear that the pain has subsided, and his quick thrusts fill her to bursting. In any other situation, Rey would be shocked at the lewd noises she's making, but with him it feels so _right_ that she moans herself hoarse.

Kylo's moans are, by contrast, much quieter yet no less intense, and it isn't long before the rhythm they've built falls apart and the snapping of his hips become more primal than controlled.

Rey feels her climax building quickly, and she makes the attempt to let him know, but it's clear that she's beyond words when all that comes out is a passionate keening. They must be on the same page, though, because his thrusts are frantic and desperate, now, and one more push has her inner walls convulsing around his length. His answering groan indicates that he's coming too, and they lie there in the wrecked aftermath for what feels like hours.

Eventually, Rey's heart slows into the contented pace of lethargy, and they're tangled up so closely she can't tell where she ends and he begins.

 

-

 

Rey wakes up with the sun shining on her face and a heavy arm pinning her to the bed. She smiles as she contemplates publicly leaking the information that Kylo Ren, international hardass and moody actor, is a huge cuddler.

In all honesty, she's much too possessive to consider such a thing, and she dismisses the thought as she carefully turns to observe him in sleep. Unconscious to the world, his face is relaxed into the smoothness of serenity. He's growing a bit of stubble along the length of his jawline, dark as his eyes and the rest of his hair, and she runs a finger down it thoughtfully. It isn't as though she gets many opportunities to examine the opposite sex so closely, and her hands are sprawling all over his crooked nose and high cheekbones as she freely touches him. She's thumbing the still-dark bruises underneath his eyes when his dark orbs open slowly to meet her own.

“Hey, you,” he says, and it would be cute if not interrupted by a jaw-cracking yawn. It makes her smile, anyway.

“Hey, yourself,” Rey responds, hands still gently pressed against his skin.

Kylo turns his head to press a kiss to the inside of her wrist and it's such a disconnect from the Kylo that abused her with caustic words that she can't help but giggle. It is clear now that she's unveiled his true personality, and no wonder he's kept it secretly under wraps for so long, because he's a gigantic puppy.

She's sore, and can feel their intermingled dried sweat upon her skin, but Rey feels happier than she has in ages.

The thought of mentioning his family still seems a bit too early, but if she can ease _this_ Kylo Ren out of his shell of assholery – the one that touches her softly, and looks at her with nothing but adoration in his eyes – then maybe a reunion with his parents isn't far off in the future.

Besides, they've got time, and she leans over to plant a kiss on his forehead.

Kylo looks a bit put-off at her almost-childish display of affection, but she curls her naked body around his taller frame after he pouts at her, and he seems to like _that_ display much more.

It's not going to be easy, they're both aware of how easy it is to rile one another up and get entangled in verbal arguments, but Rey thinks back on Han's words (with an internal wince) and considers that love and hate aren't so different, after all.


End file.
